Comments for The Way Home http://thewayhome.org Beyond Feminism -- Back to Reality! Wed, 10 Aug 2011 01:46:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 Comment on Nobody Wants to Walk the Streets by BDB http://thewayhome.org/2011/08/nobody-wants-to-walk-the-streets/#comment-117 BDB Wed, 10 Aug 2011 01:46:51 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=220#comment-117 It's interesting to see how similar these situations are regardless of where in the world they happen. It sounds very similar to a slum in Cambodia that a pastor walked us through. Similar issues with substance addiction and limited access to education. It’s interesting to see how similar these situations are regardless of where in the world they happen. It sounds very similar to a slum in Cambodia that a pastor walked us through. Similar issues with substance addiction and limited access to education.

]]> Comment on Women “Choose” to Harm Women by sarah http://thewayhome.org/2011/06/women-choose-to-harm-women/#comment-116 sarah Tue, 09 Aug 2011 23:56:45 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=204#comment-116 I reiterate my point, which is the irony of this book's author saying that feminists' worst fear is the banning of abortion -- rather than all these things that you mention. We all should be fighting these terrible ills. In fact, I am about to type a new post that touches on these themes. I reiterate my point, which is the irony of this book’s author saying that feminists’ worst fear is the banning of abortion — rather than all these things that you mention. We all should be fighting these terrible ills. In fact, I am about to type a new post that touches on these themes.

]]> Comment on Women “Choose” to Harm Women by SM http://thewayhome.org/2011/06/women-choose-to-harm-women/#comment-115 SM Tue, 09 Aug 2011 22:25:44 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=204#comment-115 “China’s Cultural Revolution under Mao Zedong from 1958 to 1962 killed at least 45 million. World War II reported 55 million casualties worldwide. I am saddened beyond belief to compare these numbers to 163 million aborted baby girls. And that’s not even counting the ones killed in equal proportion to the aborted baby boys. “ You think that this is the American “feminists” fault? This is a result of how they treat women, which is less than men, AKA worthless. Do you really think that a country that values men way more than women care even a little bit about what a bunch of fanatical, male-dominating, angry, American women think or believe?? think about it! Lets first change the laws on how women are treated in country’s like this, lets first get them to full citizen status and maybe, just maybe, there will be less aborted girls and boys. The problem is not American feminism, it’s the laws and the culture of those country’s. “In a culture that idolizes sons and dreads the birth of a daughter, to be born female comes perilously close to being born less than human,” the Indian government conceded in a recent report by its Department of Women and Child Development. “ “From South America to South Asia, women are often subjected to a lifetime of discrimination with little or no hope of relief. As children, they are fed less, denied education and refused hospitalization. As teen-agers, many are forced into marriage, sometimes bought and sold for prostitution and slave labor. As wives and mothers, they are treated little better than farmhands and baby machines. Should they outlive their husbands, they frequently are denied inheritance, banished from their homes and forced to live as beggars on the streets. While the forms of discrimination vary tremendously among regions, ethnic groups and age levels in the developing world, Shahla Zia, an attorney and women’s activist in Islamabad, Pakistan, said there is a unifying theme: “Overall, there is a social and cultural attitude where women are inferior — and discrimination tends to start at birth.” A woman’s greatest challenge is an elemental one: simply surviving through a normal life cycle. In South Asia and China, the perils begin at birth, with the threat of infanticide. “ “In urban areas, easier access to modern medical technology enables women to act before birth. Through amniocentesis, women can learn the sex of a fetus and undergo sex-selective abortions. At one clinic in Bombay, of 8,000 abortions performed after amniocentesis, 7,999 were of female fetuses, according to a recent report by the Indian government. Female infanticide and sex-selective abortion are not unique to India. Social workers in other South Asian states believe that some communities also condone the practice. The root problems, according to village women, sociologists and other experts, are cultural and economic. In India, a young woman is regarded as a temporary member of her natural family and a drain on its wealth. Her parents are considered caretakers whose main responsibility is to deliver a chaste daughter, along with a sizable dowry, to her husband’s family. “They say bringing up a girl is like watering a neighbor’s plant,” said R. Venkatachalam, director of the Community Services Guild of Madras. “From birth to death, the expenditure is there.” The dowry, he said, often wipes out a family’s life savings but is necessary to arrange a proper marriage and maintain the honor of the bride’s family. After giving birth to a daughter, village women “immediately start thinking, `Do we have the money to support her through life?’ and if they don’t, they kill her,” according to Vasanthai, 20, the mother of an 18-month- old girl and a resident of the village where Rani lives. “You definitely do it after two or three daughters. Why would you want more?” Few activists or government officials in India see female infanticide as a law-and-order issue, viewing it instead as a social problem that should be eradicated through better education, family planning and job programs. Police officials say few cases are reported and witnesses seldom cooperate. “ “Boys are generally breast-fed longer. In many cultures, women and girls eat leftovers after the men and boys have finished their meals. “ “Women are often hospitalized only when they have reached a critical stage of illness, which is one reason so many mothers die in childbirth. Female children often are not hospitalized at all. A 1990 study of patient records at Islamabad Children’s Hospital in Pakistan found that 71 percent of the babies admitted under age 2 were boys. For all age groups, twice as many boys as girls were admitted to the hospital’s surgery, pediatric intensive care and diarrhea units. Mary Okumu, an official with the African Medical and Research Foundation in Nairobi, said that when a worker in drought-ravaged northern Kenya asked why only boys were lined up at a clinic, the worker was told that in times of drought, many families let their daughters die. “ -JOHN WARD ANDERSON AND MOLLY MOORE “China’s Cultural Revolution under Mao Zedong from 1958 to 1962 killed at least 45 million. World War II reported 55 million casualties worldwide. I am saddened beyond belief to compare these numbers to 163 million aborted baby girls. And that’s not even counting the ones killed in equal proportion to the aborted baby boys. “

You think that this is the American “feminists” fault? This is a result of how they treat women, which is less than men, AKA worthless.

Do you really think that a country that values men way more than women care even a little bit about what a bunch of fanatical, male-dominating, angry, American women think or believe?? think about it!

Lets first change the laws on how women are treated in country’s like this, lets first get them to full citizen status and maybe, just maybe, there will be less aborted girls and boys.

The problem is not American feminism, it’s the laws and the culture of those country’s.

“In a culture that idolizes sons and dreads the birth of a daughter, to be born female comes perilously close to being born less than human,” the Indian government conceded in a recent report by its Department of Women and Child Development. “

“From South America to South Asia, women are often subjected to a lifetime of discrimination with little or no hope of relief. As children, they are fed less, denied education and refused hospitalization. As teen-agers, many are forced into marriage, sometimes bought and sold for prostitution and slave labor. As wives and mothers, they are treated little better than farmhands and baby machines. Should they outlive their husbands, they frequently are denied inheritance, banished from their homes and forced to live as beggars on the streets.
While the forms of discrimination vary tremendously among regions, ethnic groups and age levels in the developing world, Shahla Zia, an attorney and women’s activist in Islamabad, Pakistan, said there is a unifying theme: “Overall, there is a social and cultural attitude where women are inferior — and discrimination tends to start at birth.”
A woman’s greatest challenge is an elemental one: simply surviving through a normal life cycle. In South Asia and China, the perils begin at birth, with the threat of infanticide. “
“In urban areas, easier access to modern medical technology enables women to act before birth. Through amniocentesis, women can learn the sex of a fetus and undergo sex-selective abortions. At one clinic in Bombay, of 8,000 abortions performed after amniocentesis, 7,999 were of female fetuses, according to a recent report by the Indian government.
Female infanticide and sex-selective abortion are not unique to India. Social workers in other South Asian states believe that some communities also condone the practice.
The root problems, according to village women, sociologists and other experts, are cultural and economic. In India, a young woman is regarded as a temporary member of her natural family and a drain on its wealth. Her parents are considered caretakers whose main responsibility is to deliver a chaste daughter, along with a sizable dowry, to her husband’s family.
“They say bringing up a girl is like watering a neighbor’s plant,” said R. Venkatachalam, director of the Community Services Guild of Madras. “From birth to death, the expenditure is there.” The dowry, he said, often wipes out a family’s life savings but is necessary to arrange a proper marriage and maintain the honor of the bride’s family.
After giving birth to a daughter, village women “immediately start thinking, `Do we have the money to support her through life?’ and if they don’t, they kill her,” according to Vasanthai, 20, the mother of an 18-month- old girl and a resident of the village where Rani lives. “You definitely do it after two or three daughters. Why would you want more?”
Few activists or government officials in India see female infanticide as a law-and-order issue, viewing it instead as a social problem that should be eradicated through better education, family planning and job programs. Police officials say few cases are reported and witnesses seldom cooperate. “

“Boys are generally breast-fed longer. In many cultures, women and girls eat leftovers after the men and boys have finished their meals. “

“Women are often hospitalized only when they have reached a critical stage of illness, which is one reason so many mothers die in childbirth. Female children often are not hospitalized at all. A 1990 study of patient records at Islamabad Children’s Hospital in Pakistan found that 71 percent of the babies admitted under age 2 were boys. For all age groups, twice as many boys as girls were admitted to the hospital’s surgery, pediatric intensive care and diarrhea units. Mary Okumu, an official with the African Medical and Research Foundation in Nairobi, said that when a worker in drought-ravaged northern Kenya asked why only boys were lined up at a clinic, the worker was told that in times of drought, many families let their daughters die. “
-JOHN WARD ANDERSON AND MOLLY MOORE

]]> Comment on If Saudi Arabia Was Christian . . . by ecks why http://thewayhome.org/2011/06/if-saudi-arabia-was-christian/#comment-106 ecks why Sun, 03 Jul 2011 00:07:03 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=169#comment-106 allah approved misogyny is one of many severe problems with islam which is dangerous no matter how it is packaged... the twin fogs of political correctness & ignorance must be dispersed before western society better understands this menace. even a brief review of islamic theology & history quickly exposes the deadly roots of this evil ideology. see the links in the pdf version below for more accurate info about islam ========== islam is a horrible ideology for human rights 5 key things about islam 1. mythical beliefs - all religions have these (faith) because its part of being a religion: having beliefs without proof until after the believer dies. the problem is people will believe almost anything. 2. totalitarianism - islam has no seperation of church and state: sharia law governs all. there is no free will in islam: only submission to the will of allah as conveniently determined by the imams who spew vapors to feather their own nests. there are no moderate muslims: they all support sharia law. 3. violence - islam leads the pack of all religions in violent tenets for their ideology & history: having eternal canonical imperatives for supremacy at all costs and calling for violence & intimidation as basic tools to achieve these goals. 4. dishonesty - only islam has dishonesty as a fundamental tenet: this stems from allah speaking to mohamhead & abrogation in the koran which is used to explain how mo's peaceful early life was superseded by his warlord role later. 5. misogyny - present day islam is still rooted in 8th century social ethics: treating females as property of men good only for children, severely limiting their activities, dressing them in shower curtains and worse. conclusions ?? there really are NO redeeming qualities for this muddled pile of propaganda. islam is just another fascist totalitarian ideology used by power hungry fanatics on yet another quest for worldwide domination and includes all the usual human rights abuses & suppression of freedoms. graphics version http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/5792/dangero.jpg 1 page pdf version - do file/download 6kb viewer doesn't show fonts well, has better fonts header footer links, great for emailing printing etc http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B_UyNP-72AVKYWNiNTFlYTEtMTA1ZC00YjhiLTljMDUtMDhhNDE0NDMzNmYz allah approved misogyny is one of many severe problems with islam which is dangerous no matter how it is packaged…

the twin fogs of political correctness & ignorance must be dispersed before western society better understands this menace. even a brief review of islamic theology & history quickly exposes the deadly roots of this evil ideology.

see the links in the pdf version below for more accurate info about islam
==========

islam is a horrible ideology for human rights

5 key things about islam

1. mythical beliefs – all religions have these (faith) because its part of being a religion: having beliefs without proof until after the believer dies. the problem is people will believe almost anything.

2. totalitarianism – islam has no seperation of church and state: sharia law governs all. there is no free will in islam: only submission to the will of allah as conveniently determined by the imams who spew vapors to feather their own nests. there are no moderate muslims: they all support sharia law.

3. violence – islam leads the pack of all religions in violent tenets for their ideology & history: having eternal canonical imperatives for supremacy at all costs and calling for violence & intimidation as basic tools to achieve these goals.

4. dishonesty – only islam has dishonesty as a fundamental tenet: this stems from allah speaking to mohamhead & abrogation in the koran which is used to explain how mo’s peaceful early life was superseded by his warlord role later.

5. misogyny – present day islam is still rooted in 8th century social ethics: treating females as property of men good only for children, severely limiting their activities, dressing them in shower curtains and worse.

conclusions ??

there really are NO redeeming qualities for this muddled pile of propaganda.

islam is just another fascist totalitarian ideology used by power hungry fanatics on yet another quest for worldwide domination and includes all the usual human rights abuses & suppression of freedoms.

graphics version
http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/5792/dangero.jpg

1 page pdf version – do file/download 6kb viewer doesn’t show fonts well, has better fonts header footer links, great for emailing printing etc
http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B_UyNP-72AVKYWNiNTFlYTEtMTA1ZC00YjhiLTljMDUtMDhhNDE0NDMzNmYz

]]> Comment on Great Husbands Wanted for Christian Girls by Jared http://thewayhome.org/2011/05/great-husbands-wanted-for-christian-girls/#comment-101 Jared Thu, 23 Jun 2011 16:03:13 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=123#comment-101 As a young, single Christian man, I find Paul's comment about 'big signs' describes well how I've thought of women! My thinking tendend to follow the logic that for someone to go to the trouble of getting a degree in accounting (for example), It means that they intend to pursue a career in accounting. On the surface, it seems quite a straightforward way of thinking. But it is not so simple in practice. My own mother went to teacher's college and worked as a teacher, but later (after marrying Dad) became a homeschooling SAHM (something for which I am greatly in her debt). My eldest sister, now married with two children, has a degree in criminology and criminal justice, and is determined to be a homeschooling SAHM. It is a more recent realization I've had that a degree does not mean that a girl is a card carrying, power-hungry feminist. I think Paul is right in saying that women should make known what they think. Subtlety is very much lost on the likes of me. Mrs Stokes also makes a cutting comment regarding singleness, It's not a hard way to live as a twenty-something! There are practical freedoms afforded a single man that my married christian brothers don't have. I don't have to provide for anyone (not counting contributions to charities and gospel work), I can volunteer much of my time and unlike those with young babies I have fair chances of an uninterrupted night's sleep! That being said, In the beginning, amongst all the Good things that God had made, it was not good for the Man to be alone. There is sometimes, I think, a sense of "not good" is to be felt in singleness. I want to marry and raise a family (Lord willing!), but I do worry about my ability to provide - in fact this very worry keeps most of my amorous notions in check - As a tertiary music student, fiscal affluence does not feature prominently in my future prospects, nevertheless, see above comment about the Lord willing things!. As a 'clueless clod', however.... see earlier comment regarding subtlety. I reckon Miss Pride makes the best comment about what she wants men to pursue! Whom God intends for me to marry (if at all) is largely irrelevant next to what I <i>do</i> know about what he intends for me, which is to follow him all the days of my life. Being here on earth is a temporary arrangement! To finish, I'll share my latest thought on Psalm 127, verse 1: "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain." I guess I won't find out if the Lord will build me a marriage unless I start laying bricks! - Jared Killey As a young, single Christian man, I find Paul’s comment about ‘big signs’ describes well how I’ve thought of women! My thinking tendend to follow the logic that for someone to go to the trouble of getting a degree in accounting (for example), It means that they intend to pursue a career in accounting. On the surface, it seems quite a straightforward way of thinking. But it is not so simple in practice. My own mother went to teacher’s college and worked as a teacher, but later (after marrying Dad) became a homeschooling SAHM (something for which I am greatly in her debt). My eldest sister, now married with two children, has a degree in criminology and criminal justice, and is determined to be a homeschooling SAHM.
It is a more recent realization I’ve had that a degree does not mean that a girl is a card carrying, power-hungry feminist. I think Paul is right in saying that women should make known what they think. Subtlety is very much lost on the likes of me.

Mrs Stokes also makes a cutting comment regarding singleness, It’s not a hard way to live as a twenty-something! There are practical freedoms afforded a single man that my married christian brothers don’t have. I don’t have to provide for anyone (not counting contributions to charities and gospel work), I can volunteer much of my time and unlike those with young babies I have fair chances of an uninterrupted night’s sleep!

That being said, In the beginning, amongst all the Good things that God had made, it was not good for the Man to be alone. There is sometimes, I think, a sense of “not good” is to be felt in singleness. I want to marry and raise a family (Lord willing!), but I do worry about my ability to provide – in fact this very worry keeps most of my amorous notions in check – As a tertiary music student, fiscal affluence does not feature prominently in my future prospects, nevertheless, see above comment about the Lord willing things!. As a ‘clueless clod’, however…. see earlier comment regarding subtlety.

I reckon Miss Pride makes the best comment about what she wants men to pursue! Whom God intends for me to marry (if at all) is largely irrelevant next to what I do know about what he intends for me, which is to follow him all the days of my life. Being here on earth is a temporary arrangement!

To finish, I’ll share my latest thought on Psalm 127, verse 1: “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”

I guess I won’t find out if the Lord will build me a marriage unless I start laying bricks!

- Jared Killey

]]> Comment on Women “Choose” to Harm Women by Mary Pride http://thewayhome.org/2011/06/women-choose-to-harm-women/#comment-100 Mary Pride Tue, 21 Jun 2011 20:41:28 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=204#comment-100 I believe feminists have painted themselves into a corner with this one. The cornerstone of modern feminism (as opposed to the suffragettes and Susan B. Anthony) has been "a woman's right to choose" whether to carry or abort a baby. So, when Asian women choose, for reasons that seem economically rational to them, to disproportionately abort their female babies, how exactly can any consistent modern feminist say this is wrong? The women is pregnant, she is choosing, and she is doing so for economic reasons. Since feminists will not speak out against abortions done for personal convenience, or extremely late in pregnancy (witness their support for partial birth abortion), they really have no leg to stand on when denouncing abortions of "less valuable" girls. No red herrings about "pro-life feminists," please - I know some exist, but they are NOT the founders of the feminist movement, the anointed followers of the founders, or those who speak for feminism as a whole. I believe feminists have painted themselves into a corner with this one.

The cornerstone of modern feminism (as opposed to the suffragettes and Susan B. Anthony) has been “a woman’s right to choose” whether to carry or abort a baby.

So, when Asian women choose, for reasons that seem economically rational to them, to disproportionately abort their female babies, how exactly can any consistent modern feminist say this is wrong? The women is pregnant, she is choosing, and she is doing so for economic reasons.

Since feminists will not speak out against abortions done for personal convenience, or extremely late in pregnancy (witness their support for partial birth abortion), they really have no leg to stand on when denouncing abortions of “less valuable” girls.

No red herrings about “pro-life feminists,” please – I know some exist, but they are NOT the founders of the feminist movement, the anointed followers of the founders, or those who speak for feminism as a whole.

]]> Comment on Women “Choose” to Harm Women by Mary Pride http://thewayhome.org/2011/06/women-choose-to-harm-women/#comment-99 Mary Pride Tue, 21 Jun 2011 20:29:21 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=204#comment-99 Yes, Carmen, I agree that it's terrible how Asian culture undervalues women. However, I disagree that "if abortion were not an option for these women, then the girls would die another way." Making a behavior legal, inexpensive, and invisible will greatly change how many people do it. I seriously doubt that 163 million baby girls would have been murdered post-birth, or that if large numbers of them were being murdered post-birth that there would be NO outcry. American feminism has spread worldwide via NGOs (non-governmental organizations) and official government organizations at both the country and global level (e.g., the UN). One of the main fruits of this has been the worldwide propagation of abortion as part of the family planning mix (with family planning/contraception/sterilization itself being promoted worldwide via US NGOs, GOs, and charities). Western "aid" intervention has relentlessly pushed a "women should be in the workforce, children are a burden" message. This, combined with the traditionally lower view of women in Asia, has often led to the logical (by their lights) and heartless choice to kill female babies in the womb. In this case, American feminism, as it spread globally, threw fuel on the fire. Yes, Carmen, I agree that it’s terrible how Asian culture undervalues women. However, I disagree that “if abortion were not an option for these women, then the girls would die another way.” Making a behavior legal, inexpensive, and invisible will greatly change how many people do it. I seriously doubt that 163 million baby girls would have been murdered post-birth, or that if large numbers of them were being murdered post-birth that there would be NO outcry.

American feminism has spread worldwide via NGOs (non-governmental organizations) and official government organizations at both the country and global level (e.g., the UN). One of the main fruits of this has been the worldwide propagation of abortion as part of the family planning mix (with family planning/contraception/sterilization itself being promoted worldwide via US NGOs, GOs, and charities). Western “aid” intervention has relentlessly pushed a “women should be in the workforce, children are a burden” message. This, combined with the traditionally lower view of women in Asia, has often led to the logical (by their lights) and heartless choice to kill female babies in the womb.

In this case, American feminism, as it spread globally, threw fuel on the fire.

]]> Comment on Women “Choose” to Harm Women by Carmen http://thewayhome.org/2011/06/women-choose-to-harm-women/#comment-98 Carmen Tue, 21 Jun 2011 19:06:53 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=204#comment-98 It's hardly fair to blame American feminism for the gendercide happening in India and China. There it is not feminism which promotes the abortions but a culture which values the lives of men over the lives of women - the very opposite of what American feminism stands for. If abortion were not an option for these women, then the girls would die another way. Girls born in India and China are far more likely to die before their 10th birthday than boys of the same age because they are fed less than the boys (hence severe malnutrition), are taken to the doctor/hospital far less often (parents are less willing to pay for medical care for a girl), and are more likely to be sold/abandoned by families who cannot afford to care for them. A girl can fetch the equivalent of several hundred dollars for a family should they sell her to a pimp - something many families are willing to do, hence the overwhelming number of underage prostitutes in cities such as Calcutta. One's response to this article should not be how terrible American feminists are, but how terrible is a culture that so brazenly undervalues women - to the point where women have been turned against each other. It’s hardly fair to blame American feminism for the gendercide happening in India and China. There it is not feminism which promotes the abortions but a culture which values the lives of men over the lives of women – the very opposite of what American feminism stands for. If abortion were not an option for these women, then the girls would die another way. Girls born in India and China are far more likely to die before their 10th birthday than boys of the same age because they are fed less than the boys (hence severe malnutrition), are taken to the doctor/hospital far less often (parents are less willing to pay for medical care for a girl), and are more likely to be sold/abandoned by families who cannot afford to care for them. A girl can fetch the equivalent of several hundred dollars for a family should they sell her to a pimp – something many families are willing to do, hence the overwhelming number of underage prostitutes in cities such as Calcutta. One’s response to this article should not be how terrible American feminists are, but how terrible is a culture that so brazenly undervalues women – to the point where women have been turned against each other.

]]> Comment on Gender Wars, Part 2: Eternal Value by Penney Douglas http://thewayhome.org/2011/06/gender-wars-part-2-eternal-value/#comment-95 Penney Douglas Mon, 20 Jun 2011 07:38:31 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=196#comment-95 I agree with what you have said. I got married before I really understood how much Jesus loves me, and it caused problems in my relationship with my husband. I expected him to meet needs that only God could meet. It took many years for me to realize how much God loves me and the way He loves me. I finally came to the realization about 4 years ago that Jesus was really the man I was so desperate to find when I thought it was a husband I needed so badly that I couldn't think about anything except wanting to get married. I felt insecure in my husband's love during those earlier years of marriage. After I really and truly gave God my heart first and placed Gary second in my affections, his love and desire for me grew. Now he expresses love for me in a way that helps me to see how God feels about me. Now that I have things in the right order, my marriage is much stronger and more enjoyable. It would be a good thing if women could get a solid grip on how Jesus feels about them and the kind of love He has for them that can meet their deepest desires, even desires for romance and companionship, before they get married. Then we would not expect our man to be perfect and meet every need and set him up for failure and ourselves up for disappointment. I think men would be much happier if we came into marriage with a right understanding of who we are in Christ and our value to Him. A man needs a woman, but he needs a whole woman who knows her value. I agree with what you have said. I got married before I really understood how much Jesus loves me, and it caused problems in my relationship with my husband. I expected him to meet needs that only God could meet. It took many years for me to realize how much God loves me and the way He loves me. I finally came to the realization about 4 years ago that Jesus was really the man I was so desperate to find when I thought it was a husband I needed so badly that I couldn’t think about anything except wanting to get married.
I felt insecure in my husband’s love during those earlier years of marriage. After I really and truly gave God my heart first and placed Gary second in my affections, his love and desire for me grew.
Now he expresses love for me in a way that helps me to see how God feels about me. Now that I have things in the right order, my marriage is much stronger and more enjoyable.
It would be a good thing if women could get a solid grip on how Jesus feels about them and the kind of love He has for them that can meet their deepest desires, even desires for romance and companionship, before they get married.
Then we would not expect our man to be perfect and meet every need and set him up for failure and ourselves up for disappointment.
I think men would be much happier if we came into marriage with a right understanding of who we are in Christ and our value to Him.
A man needs a woman, but he needs a whole woman who knows her value.

]]> Comment on “I Kissed Marriage Goodbye” – Rescuing the Frozen People by Joy http://thewayhome.org/2011/05/i-kissed-marriage-goodbye-rescuing-the-frozen-people/#comment-94 Joy Sat, 11 Jun 2011 05:25:08 +0000 http://thewayhome.org/?p=147#comment-94 We've seen the spectrum, from engagement when a couple had never had a conversation, to productive courtships. We don't like the former, but both couples are doing fine, very much in love and no one would guess it started that way. The problem is, they really did not know how each other thought and that is NOT ideal. The best time for us to get to know other possibilities is when we are pursuing Kingdom work: Like putting on a conference together, traveling to a film academy, family hospitality, or, like some friends, participating in campus outreach. That way, we are able to see how someone communicates, works and thinks. Yes, we do wonder if this or that guy is interested in_____, but when the focus is God's kingdom and growing in maturity, people come together in productive marriages. My brother is currently in a courtship where he had never spoken to the girl before he asked her dad. He didn't think that was ideal, but knew she was an amazing girl and needed to get started. Asking her dad first, gave my brother an opportunity to share and receive books he cares about, answer their questions and have a great time with her parents. Now that she knows, she is reading my brother's books, happy to talk, and using a topic he loves for her writing class. We’ve seen the spectrum, from engagement when a couple had never had a conversation, to productive courtships.
We don’t like the former, but both couples are doing fine, very much in love and no one would guess it started that way. The problem is, they really did not know how each other thought and that is NOT ideal.

The best time for us to get to know other possibilities is when we are pursuing Kingdom work: Like putting on a conference together, traveling to a film academy, family hospitality, or, like some friends, participating in campus outreach. That way, we are able to see how someone communicates, works and thinks. Yes, we do wonder if this or that guy is interested in_____, but when the focus is God’s kingdom and growing in maturity, people come together in productive marriages.

My brother is currently in a courtship where he had never spoken to the girl before he asked her dad. He didn’t think that was ideal, but knew she was an amazing girl and needed to get started. Asking her dad first, gave my brother an opportunity to share and receive books he cares about, answer their questions and have a great time with her parents. Now that she knows, she is reading my brother’s books, happy to talk, and using a topic he loves for her writing class.

]]>