Wednesday I posted about the lack of qualified husband material for many fine young Christian women today. Half the comments in response were posted here: the other half, on my Facebook page.
I found all your comments very interesting. Cati Stokes, in particular, said, ” I also know a number of single Christian men (who were home schooled) they seem to be very immature boy-men who would rather have an entry level job, play video games, and some sort of instrument.”
First, do you readers agree with Cati?
Second, if you do, to what would you attribute this “Peter Pan”-ishness . . . this lack of desire to become real men who take leadership in their own homes, businesses, and communities?
I have a few theories on this matter.
First, our society has been emasculating men for quite some time. I’m not just talking about the overt feminist “men are bad” propaganda in schools, university, and the family-court system. I’m referring to our “Mother, May I” culture, where kids are brought up to believe that you have to obtain permission for everything, from raising rabbits to putting a shed in your own back yard. Overblown safety consciousness has also crushed many boyhood adventures that we, our parents, and/or our grandparents pursued without a second thought – for example, this last winter, there was a strong push to ban sledding entirely in some locales! (Read the comments after this article to see what folks who grew up in the “old days” think about this.) An overbearing state also puts men in their place; the perfect example is the TSA, who feel free to molest a man’s wife and children right in front of him, knowing any resistance can be met with hefty fines plus up to 20 years in jail.
So, what’s the upside to growing up into a man, if you can’t BE a man?
One response is to drop out. Work as little as possible, play lots of video games.
Another response is to rebel. In part, the felt need to reject overbearing authority has led to the huge popularity of rap music and the gangsta culture. The problem here is that biblical authority is thrown out right along with unbiblical authority. Macho posturing, and the resulting crime, in turn provides an excuse for yet more government overcontrol.
The third response is to see the problem, admit it’s beyond our control, and neither give way to hopelessness and fear (like the slackers) or brash fist-waving and lawbreaking (like gangstas and gangsta wannabes). Be like Davy Crockett and other real men of the past: determine the right thing to do and just do it, trusting God for the results and not fearing the consequences. This means training our sons up to a high level of biblical knowledge and conviction. But it’s possible. As 2 Timothy 1:7 says,
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.